My experience in Moscow so far has been pretty rosy. I have gone from new, friendless, and overwhelmed to happily living in a big house with a bunch of friends and tons of adventures in a matter of weeks. Finally, reality has hit.
My life finally gave me some lemons. I have been in denial about a relationship I'm in and we hit the "should we keep going or stop now?" phase. I think a lot of people go through this, but I don't know if it feels like this. So I have NO idea what to do. I really wish I could just go back to where a I was in October... new and fresh and independent and not really knowing what to expect. But, unfortunately, this combination of events has led me to feel something I have not felt until now: I'm starting to think...I don't want to be here. As in temporarily, maybe for the next month or so... I don't want to deal with all of this.
I guess the good thing is, if things do change... and maybe things get a little harder.... it is only a change to something that was still relatively new anyway (compared to leaving St. Olaf, leaving the mid-West... this should be easy, right?)
Pain, heartache, change, and uncertainty. These are things I've managed to bypass/ignore/overcome in the past. Any tips? Favorite empowering song? Best stress-busting workout? Inspiring story of a good thing that was doubted but not lost in the long run?
Ohh yeah one last thing:
This blog is magical, and I'm going to just say.... man oh man will I be happy if this struggle opens the door to a truer happiness.
