Culture shock returns

I remember standing on the beach in Nosara last summer during the second week of Spanish lessons and finding that my mind was completely blank. I didn't have the vocabulary to let my mind wander in my new language, but my whole brain was resisting the impulse to return to the familiar flow of English. I would have to pause while writing emails, especially to my bilingual teammates. Was a ready to communicate to them in their Mother tongue? Would I still completely embarrass myself? Was I being weak by sending them the meeting agenda in English and just sandwiching it between my newly learned Spanish salutations?

Six months down the road not a lot has changed. Culture shock is not just about being frustrated by a new language. It is the constant nagging that you might be doing something wrong: Are my shorts too short? Should I smile and wave at a sweet looking old man who says "Hola, amor," or is he being a creep? I don't know.

In the US I'm a pretty social person. I always spend time with friends and I am not intimidated by meeting new people. The isolation that comes from a combination of language and culture barriers tends to wear on me quickly, making me feel like I'm doing something wrong or suddenly failing at something I know I can do. I feel a lot like I did last night while Oscar was giving me a surfing lesson: I was paddling and duck-diving with every bit of power in my body, but a glance back on the beach would always reveal that I was barely staying in place.

When approaching a biological study in a new country, it is tempting to push these kinds of problems aside and focus on my bugs and my books. Fortunately (and unfortunately when I'm having a particularly hard day), everything I do here relies on my social networks: the farmers who let me into their fields, the carpenters who build me insect boxes, the local students who have the best connections for affordable housing. I have been lucky enough to meet a lot of good people who have been helping me out and making things a lot easier.

Times like these I give extra thanks for my Liberal Arts education... for experience travelling in other places that were challenging in different ways... for being taught that communication is one of the most valuable skills...for emails and Skype sessions and phone calls and letters home... for my Puerto Rican brothers that will always translate, even if they tease me for it...and for the fact that Friday is pizza and movie night in our little yellow house on the hill and the movies at least have English captions and the pizza tastes just like home.

Lesson #1 of studying abroad: buy a guitar ASAP.